The Interested Challenge: How to Win Friends

Everybody knows how amazing he/she is but do you think how boasting about it makes people feel. Does it make them happy? No! Not at all. You can try this and the results would be something like “Oh! I’ve got an emergency, I’ll talk to you later” or maybe something like “Excuse me for a second” and then that person is more likely to never appear again soon. You can also judge them by their body language. A famous old Roman poet, Publilius Syrus, remarked;

“We are interested in others when they are interested in us.”

So, the point is that people are not interested in you unless you show interest in them. All they want to hear is about them.

How to Win Friends

While going through the book “How to Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, I realized the fact that being interested is much more important than being interesting. In his book he stated:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you”.

If you want to make sincere friends and want to be welcomed, you have to focus on what they like and what makes them happy. So you have to admire them and you could clearly see how they start developing a strong bond and an affiliation with you.

Examples from Daily Life

We can see examples from our daily life. If you are reading a book and if the author shows that he doesn’t like people, people won’t like his stories. A friend who is only talking about himself, you won’t really want to spend time with him.

Show Gratitude

To influence people, you must show some gratitude and humbleness towards them. Thurston, an acknowledged dean of magicians, said:

“I am grateful because these people come to see me, They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I’m going to give them the very best I possibly can.”

This shows how humble he was and that was one of the major reasons why he had millions of fans and why people love him.

It is not only that you can influence people at a certain age or you have to have some specific knowledge about psychology, but you can make friends at any age by connecting to people in more enthusiastic way.

Greet them friendly, remember their birthdays, show affiliation, call people by their names and praise their qualities. Do whatever you can do for others selflessly. Put in your time and energy to make others feel special. Show that you are genuinely interested in them. In this way you can win the attention of desired person and everybody start loving you and will be willing to help you.

My Experience

While practicing this habit for the past 24 hours, I realized that people genuinely feel happy that someone is concerned about them. They feel like someone is here who can listen and understand them. Talking about them and their family made them feel special. They keenly talk about their challenges and share their plans so excitedly. While practicing this “Interested Challenge”, I perceived one thing that this activity was about the act of leadership. People were influenced by this action and they all were also showing interest in me and what I’m up to. It felt an affiliation and connection between us. Their positive attitudes made me feel that Yes! If I’m interested in them, they’re definitely showing a bonding towards me.